TODAY was a big day for me. I had my first (and probably NOT last) spider vein therapy treatment. Yes, it’s that time of my life when I look at my body and think, well, you ain’t too bad girl, but you ain’t what you used to be. I’m okay with that. I’m loving growing older in my skin. Because, simply put, I’m just grateful to still be in it.
I feature suicide, depression and other hard topics because my life has been full of these spider veins of life, a lot of them. Detours. Little fragmented parts of my soul that sucked the blood right out of its main source, my heart. Between self sabotage and others, I had a full blown dysfunctional veinous circuit in need of closing off. Hemorrhaging, I had to find something other than this world to identify myself with. Thankfully, I did in GOD’s perfect love, His Son, Jesus The Christ.
As I watched my nurse carefully search out all the little veins that had decided to make their own path under my skin, it occurred to me that this is exactly what is at our disposal as blood bought sons and daughters of the most high GOD. Try as we might, there are some things we cannot see with our own eyes. Many years pass and we become so numb with pain we don’t even realize how much damage has occurred, but HE does. And like my nurse, when we show up, even fearful, but believing that He IS and expecting with the grain of a mustard seed that He WILL, He will not only search those areas out, but close them off with His living water of never ending love and mercy. The solution to close that rogue circuit.
He is the GOD of redemption. He’s the closer of our wounds, the healer of our hearts and minds. He restores proper blood flow from His heart to ours and provides the straight path to His heart and ours, amid the detours.
My legs look like hell. Because apparently, they will get uglier before prettier. They look bruised and all the veins that once lay slightly discolored under my skin are now waving giant banners of purple that would make Prince proud. I’m okay with that. The ashes are worth the beauty (and lightness).
The norm is to wait until winter to work on these things when our legs are covered and no one can see the reconstruction, but I figure, now is as good as time as any to knock it out. There’s never a ‘good’ time. Much like our soul work, it can look messier before the beauty emerges. Don’t give up and don’t delay. Do the work now and run freely without the weight of a displaced life.