In my recent prayer time, I found myself confessing to my FATHER God, that I had in fact, been seeking blessing rather than Him. Selah.
It then occurred to me that I may do this not because I’m some greedy, materialistically driven woman, but that I see him in my blessings. My blessings help my faith stay alive. Needs being met is the evidence of my faith and the substance of things hoped for when I placed those needs at his feet and said, ‘Here, do something, please. ‘
I’ve never stopped to think about my petitions that way or my relationship to blessing vs his presence.. What a merciful response to the voice of accusation railing against me in the spirit to say I’m just a crappy daughter for finding comfort in my needs being met. That devil, he’s a real sweetheart. Sigh.
It also struck me that where I may equate relationship with God to my blessings, others may equate their struggles and pain with his presence. Maybe on some subconscious level, some of you have been programmed to feel him most in instances of adversity. Maybe.
If this is the case, it stands to reason that you while any of us could argue that we wouldn’t seek adversity or wish it upon ourselves, perhaps some of us only feel God’s presence, mercy, love, acceptance or help, when life gets tough and subsequently, we create or participate in, more adversity than necessary.
Aside …I say that a lot, insert..” ‘anything short of his glory’… is unnecessary”. It takes the wind right out of accusation’s sails because it doesn’t make it black or white, heaven or hell, it simply makes it a choice that you can make, an agreement with life or death, because it is entirely within your power to say no thank you for it is written, we are no longer slaves to sin, but to righteousness. Doesn’t mean we won’t sin, it simply means, we don’t have to.
I am reminded I used to participate in this yo- yo relationship with God. When one day, I heard him mercifully speak to my spirit and say, “Listen, I’m going to love you no matter what. I’ll love you right into the darkness you are walking into so you can feel me through the feelings of guilt, shame, and fear that accompany falling short. (everyone’s response to their own sin is different) But, it is unnecessary, Monica. How about we walk this thing called your life out, in faith for good things. In faith for blessings and favor and mercy all the days of your life?”
Um. Silence on my part. Pivotal moment for me. Maybe it can be for you too?
No accusation here. This is safe territory. This requires not leaning on your own understanding of the why of what you do or how you relate to a faceless God. This requires listening to what he says about you through his word and whispers to your spirit, and agreeing.
What a sweet way to tell me I’m not bad for seeking blessing but that satan was perverting my intimacy with God by using my faith in his word against me. But he’s the devil, so what else is he supposed to do? lol
I hope this revelation blesses YOU.