The Lord communicates with me in various ways. The proper thing to say here is that it’s always through His Word, but if I’m being honest, I don’t always hear him first from his truth and I’ll tell you why.
A spirit of condemnation comes to visit me when I know I’ve erred. When I’ve willfully walked my own path or just stumbled upon one. I have been programmed to not be okay with failure on any level. It’s rough being perfect all the time. It’s rough feeling like I could lose the one relationship I need the most based on me, my performance, or lack thereof.
Inevitably, jumping through hoops exhausts me and I seek comfort from everything but someone or something holy. Just being honest.
When this happens, the Word can become the capstone I trip over. So what do you do when you keep stubbing your toe on that corner piece of the ottoman? You avoid it.
The good news about having God as a Father, if I could be so small minded as to limit it to one thing, is his tenacious passion for his creation. He never gives up. Ever.
You may ask, “how do you know that, Monica?” Well….
Because not only does his Word say it, but my life reflects it. Those are two things not even the most rabid liberal could argue with. Inerrant truth and my reality. Evidence. If God was on trial for abandoning me, he would be exonerated based on a mountain of evidence in my life. And he has indeed sat through many tribunals in my life with the accuser holding court and me on the stand as witness number one against God and myself.
Exhausting. But I bet you may be able to relate—on some small level.
In this new season of my life, I am pursuing God. And not because I am some uber Christian woman who reflects the stanza of the hippest contemporary Christian worship song, but because he won’t let me go. I’m thirsty. I’m hungry. I’m tired. And just like the teen who goes home to raid the pantry, I’m home and I need something more than twinkies to restore my famished soul.
While I’m on the run in life, in God’s infinite mercy, he uses shiny objects to get my attention. What I mean by that is, there are many things that bring joy to my soul. One is horses. Another is gardens. And yet another is fishing and basically anything outdoors. So, while I’m cutting a path around that ottoman (The Word) that I keep hitting my toe on (instead of finding rest for my weary feet), he uses everything I find joy in to woo me. To speak to me. To remind me from whence I came and of his glory in the things I find joy in.
Some of you religious types are probably thinking, well, you should be finding joy in him and him only, MoniCUH….And while you are ‘right’, you are running the risk of becoming that ottoman.
See, wisdom knows that God’s love casts out fear. And if his word is being occluded by fear, accusation, condemnation or confusion every time I draw near, he will use the things that do not bring me fear to speak to my heart and remind me of who he is in spite of and in conjunction with, who I am. And like that horse who has been running free, I will eventually tire and lower my head to walk to him to lead me to green pastures and pure water. And that my friend, is truly only found in his Word.
When his rod and staff become whipping sticks, I know I’m grazing in the wrong pasture. The wrong Shepherd is driving me from behind. And while I may graze on weeds for a minute, greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. He chases the wolf away, gathers me to himself and carries me home. That’s our Savior. Our friend and our Father. They, are one.
In my pursuit of the Lord, which is really his desire for me made manifest, I recently literally set the table for our time together. I lit a fire, grabbed all the reading material that has fed and inspired me while walking a mile or two around that ottoman, and my Bible, made some tea, and I sat down to deliberately share my heart, my mind, and my soul with the Lord. My feet, tired of running.
I began with a daily devotional I’ve sought refuge in while running from the ottoman and decided to cross reference the scriptures given with my Bible. (His Word). Food. I then went to another book of encouraging thoughts centered around the equestrian world of training and wallah! Another savory bite. Last but not least, I dove my fork into a tiny book of “positive sayings”... and wouldn’t you know it was the dessert to the meal he prepared for my hungry, tired soul. I realized something I’ve never seen before. The exhortation was to “share your joy only with those whom you know will celebrate with you.” Suddenly, a light went on and the scripture
“Don’t cast your pearls to the swine, lest they trample them”
came racing into my head as revelation on a matter I had never considered. One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement. One of my traps as an encourager is to think everyone wants to be encouraged. LOL.
If I am working in my own strength, I will inevitably cast my pearls ( my joy, my peace, my hope) at the feet of a person who is in bondage to a spirit of doubt, fear, or unbelief. And what happens when in my own strength, I cast those pearls to that swine of a stronghold? They get trampled and subsequently, I do too.
Racing around the ottoman has robbed me of many things, but the most important two things are what King David repeatedly sought from and with the Lord: peace and the joy of his salvation.
The JOY of the Lord is our STRENGTH. Without it, our marriages, parenthood, careers and communities suffer. Church becomes a stale bread pantry or a sideshow. Our testimony becomes a clanging cymbal. We are impotent as believers of light in a dying, dark world.
I want to leave you with this, in John 17, Jesus prayed for us that our joy may be complete as his was with his Father.
Let this settle in your bellies as the hope, comfort, and nourishment he seeks to provide for you today. It’s free. And it’s made with love. It’s the marrow for your bones and oxygen for your blood. It’s the protein and sugar for your brain. May it lift every burden and stronghold in your life. May this Word—his Word—serve you. As a wise man once told me, God told him, “Manna is more than bread”….Enjoy
13 “I am coming to you now. But I pray these things while I am still in the world. I say these things so that these men can have my joy. I want them to have all of my joy. 14 I have given them your teaching. And the world has hated them. The world hated these men, because they don’t belong to the world, the same as I don’t belong to the world. 15 I am not asking you to take them out of the world. But I am asking that you keep them safe from the Evil One. 16 They don’t belong to the world, the same as I don’t belong to the world. 17 Make them ready for your service through your truth. Your teaching is truth. 18 I have sent them into the world, the same as you sent me into the world. 19 I am making myself ready to serve. I do this for them so that they can truly be ready for your service.
20 “I pray for these men. But I am also praying for all people who will believe in me because of the teaching of these men. 21 Father, I pray that all people who believe in me can be one. You are in me and I am in you. I pray that these people can also be one in us, so that the world will believe that you sent me. 22 I have given these people the glory that you gave me. I gave them this glory so that they can be one, the same as you and I are one. 23 I will be in them and you will be in me. So they will be completely one. Then the world will know that you sent me. And the world will know that you loved these people the same as you loved me.
24 “Father, I want these people that you have given me to be with me in every place I am. I want them to see my glory. This is the glory you gave me because you loved me before the world was made. 25 Father, you are the One who is good. The world does not know you, but I know you. And these people know that you sent me. 26 I showed them what you are like. And again I will show them what you are like. Then they will have the same love that you have for me. And I will live in them.” – Jn 17:13 International Children’s Bible.
Lest you receive as little children, you will in no wise enter the kingdom of heaven – Jesus
xo,
6 Comments
Very encouraging. It’s wonderful to “wait” on the Lird & allow his word to speak to us, guiding our path.
Blessings to you
Linda D
Thank you Linda!
Monica, thank you for sharing…. I appreciate the way you open your heart , it is quite refreshing to witness someone actually being honest…. you struggle, I struggle, if we tell the truth we will all say that we struggle…. we struggle inwardly and outwardly…it is during those struggles that God speaks loudest to me….sometimes I hear Him, other times the roar of the crowd drowns Him out, because I am not focusing on Him but rather on the crowd….He oftentimes brings me back closer to Him through books…… he recently just GAVE me a book to read, one that I had known that I was supposed to read for at least a decade, yes I said He GAVE it to me, placed it in my hand via a man that He put into my life. The man did not even know that he was giving it to me….. crazy story that I will share on another day!!
Lets pray, Thank you God for putting people in our lives to touch us, to work spreading Your word, to lift up the downtrodden, to encourage the depressed and lonely, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked…..Thank you God for working in our lives when we least expect you too …in Jesus name, Amen.
thank you Buddy..he is indeed faithful to draw us back unto himself. We are so feeble without him.
Precious sister: it spoke to my desire to be that encourager and the times when the pigs were numerous! Blessings, sweet lady!
You are my sister. just sayin’. Love you!! <3