The weeks are becoming days until my book hits hands across the globe.
Scary.
I’m so fully excited and met with a bit of apprehension. I felt the same way with the release of my first album. Six painstaking, awe inspiring, months of creating what I knew eventually I would have to release into the world. I didn’t create the music on my CD to be enjoyed only by me or to inspire my soul only. The same can be said of this book.
It wasn’t my talent or my creativity. It’s all the Creator’s. His glory.
My book is my latest child I will deliver to the world in the hopes of sharing a bit of hope. If I know nothing else about my life, it’s that it offers hope to others who find themselves dismayed by life’s circumstances and the world around them. 
The Word tells us the heart grows sick due to hope deferred and I’ve had my share, but so have you. Some of you have been waiting for jobs, diplomas, spouses, homes, children and restoration on many levels of life. And in that wait, your heart has grown weary and tired and your’e just not sure if you should bother showing up any more.
Show up anyway.
Bring all the insecurity, fear, trepidation and uncertainty, lay it at the foot of the cross and watch God do mighty things through you. No joke.
Many in the church will try to burden you further (while you’re down) with undo fear that somehow God will not honor anything you do if you have fear. This is a distortion of the truth. Yes, in James 1:7, we are told that if we ask and doubt, we should not expect anything from the Lord, but I want to turn your attention to something.
Maybe some of you have it all shored up in the zero fear & doubt department, but I don’t.
I struggle.
If you are like me, that verse can have you saying, ‘screw it all because after all, if I’m being honest, I do have fear & doubt for a myriad of reasons so what’s the point in even trying?’ But, through God’s infinite mercy, he has shown me, rather patiently, that this is called zero sum thinking and Jesus is not in the zero sum relationship business.
Let’s take Thomas as a prime example. A man who spent three years sleeping, eating and learning with Jesus. He watched him die and then had a bit of a hard time believing it was really Jesus when Jesus appeared after his resurrection. I don’t recall Jesus saying ” Well, good grief Thomas! Just forget it! You blew it, you unbelieving, doubting, wanna be disciple, depart from me!”. Um, No.
Instead, his response is in harmony with other Scriptures such as one of my personal favorite Biblical heroes, Gideon. Gideon required many of ‘signs’ to be assured he was hearing from GOD. Why? Because he was SCARED and what does that mean? He doubted! And because of the mercy God has for our frame (dustbowls), he honored Gideon with signs and ultimately used him to win a very important battle with only 300 men. See? Mercy.
And that same God, our Father, our Abba, Our lord and Savior, Jesus are still in the mercy and patience business. New ones every morning as a matter of fact. As I describe in great detail in my book, they know every fiber of our being and contend & relate with us on that level of understanding. Which is infinitely higher than ours. They also require our answer. If you have been called to anything in life and you now find yourself wavering or losing hope while waiting, renew your ‘yes’ and show up anyway.
Remember, your weakness provides the perfect atmosphere for HIS strength to be revealed in your life. Not just for the world to see, but for YOUR heart to be encouraged and edified so that ultimately your trust will grow and doubt will no longer prevail. This is called walking out our salvation. Sanctification. Remember, the Israelites saw the waters part and doubted about 1000ft. later.
This is not a license to stay stuck. Those same Israelites died in the wilderness. For one reason: they refused to enter into His rest. Resting requires trust and trust is cultivated in relationship. Once trust is cultivated through showing up anyway, you will find yourself living in obedience from a heart of trust and gratitude rather than fear of damnation.
I try to tell people, the fear of hell is not a bad idea, but the fear of being separated from love for eternity should weigh heavier on our weary hearts. Not inordinate fear to get to Jesus or else. As for sanctification, YOU are his first priority and his first purpose. John 3:16. It is finished, but you aren’t.
I encourage you to take all the crap life is weighing you down with and simply get before him. Lay out on your knees and bow to the only true Lord who cares for you, has a vision for you, knows you, understands you. He knows why he has birthed hope in your heart. He knows why he has given you irrevocable gifts.
He knows your frame and that double mindedness is not your friend. He also knows that as soon as you show up and ask for help with doubt and fear, he has a yielded vessel with which to work that has a grain of mustard seed of faith. He has promised to never abandon the works of his hands. That’s you.
xo,
