When I was asked to touch on something for my LIVE show that I would normally discuss with friends (besides politics) I immediately thought of trust.
Sharing my own recent encounter with facing a reality around the area of trust, I wanted to know what my listening audience thought about how they come to a conclusion that someone is worthy of their trust. Is it given? Is it earned?
I wanted to know if anyone had experienced violating someone’s trust and having to regain it… You won’t hear the one caller who admitted he had violated his wife’s trust by virtue of abusing alcohol. He was in the first hour. The calls were so abundant, I carried the topic over to my second hour. I appreciated his humility and honesty about the struggle he found himself in and the fact that his wife stood by his side in order to redeem the relationship.
Life is messy. People are messy. Not every second of every day needs to be drama filled, but we all come with some form of baggage.
Men usually show up with the lawn bags they used to move from one college dorm to another. They haven’t really unpacked those bags to the extent I believe women spend an inordinate amount of time either hiding or unpacking. Our bags are usually just prettier. They conceal more because we’ve painted them to look nice and compact.
I recently encountered someone who believed trust should just be a given. I don’t agree. The mature woman in me has worked through most of the bags I can on my own to make myself a liberated partner. That means, I am responsible for the garden of my heart and who comes in and out of it. Not those wanting entrance, much less, demanding. I think it’s extraordinarily arrogant for someone to expect to have access to someone’s heart fully without the beautiful benefit of time.
I would say the number one factor in trust building is time. Reliability, consistency, honesty, attentiveness, humility, compassion, mercy, grace all take time manifest. For me, they are the bedrock of establishing a level of trust with someone that says more to me about their character than words.
Anyone can tell you what you want to hear. I’ve discovered more people than not live with a cerebral fantasy of what they ‘think’ love should look like. A textbook study of love is no match for the messy days and moments of choice to walk or fight FOR the relationship of value. Being a student of love isn’t the same as living it.
The callers for two hours varied greatly. I LOVE playing in the space of inviting people to chat with me candidly about things all of us contend with in this experience of being human. My listeners are always discerning and intellectually and emotionally connected. I’m blessed to have the audience I do at WSB.
I’m on next Sunday for 2 hours as well, 1-3pm, Mother’s Day. There will be a lot to say and share so make sure to tune in!
Enjoy.. I think you will find some nuggets in this broadcast as well as my own frustration with the self protected world we live in. I want to encourage you to have expectations of yourself and others that allow for mercy and grace to breathe.
I’m out of FB jail and you can FOLLOW me one Instagram at All Things Monica as well.. my life is never boring that’s for sure and YOU make it so much fun!